Most people underestimate the value of having someone to talk to during pivotal moments, or pivotal decisions, in our lives. Life experience can be messy without this kind of support.

Our friends are not the answer when it comes to getting from where we are to where we want to go. It’s not their role to be someone who is willing to challenge us. They only see out of their own paradigm, and they don’t have the training to help us see what’s really going on in our lives.

They get caught up in our story; they might share some of our story. If we’re like most people, we have friends who are kind of like us. They’re not going to be objective. And they certainly haven’t been trained to ask professional, deep, powerful questions.

Coaching is designed to help people move past their self-imposed limitations, inner barriers and confusion. Friendship is not designed for that. Even if your friend does have skill and does have the ability to ask you the right questions, coaching is not meant to be a one-off experience or one-off conversation. It’s a process that helps you get honest with yourself, get clear about what you want, and support you as you work to get it. Often there are times when that process doesn’t come easily for people.

You can’t rely on your friends to do this work with you. They have their own lives, and it’s really damaging to the friendship to bring all of your personal struggles constantly forward and then not be able to be a good friend, or enjoy your friendship. It just gets in the way.

If you’re having that problem, you need a coach.