Most people underestimate the value of having someone to talk to during pivotal moments and decisions in our lives. But, life can become really messy without this kind of support.
Our friends are not the answer when it comes to getting from where we are to where we want to go. It’s not their role to be someone who is willing to challenge us. They only see out of their own paradigm, and they don’t have the training to help us see what’s really going on in our lives.
They get caught up in our story; they might share some of our story. If we’re like most people, we have friends who are kind of like us. They’re not going to be objective. And they certainly haven’t been trained to ask professional, deep, powerful questions.
Coaching is designed to help people move past their self-imposed limitations, inner barriers and confusion. Friendship is not designed for that. Even if your friend does have skill and does have the ability to ask you the right questions, coaching is not meant to be a one-off experience or one-off conversation. It’s a process that helps you get honest with yourself, get clear about what you want, and support you as you strive to achieve it. That process can be challenging, and leaning on your friends, partner, or colleagues to support you through it can backfire.
It can damage the friendship to constantly bring your personal struggles forward. You become unable to be a good friend, or just enjoy the friendship you have. Your authentic need for support just gets in the way.
If you’re having that problem, you need a coach.